WHAT MAKES A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP? – By Peace Alex

Hopefully you and your significant other are treating each other well right? Or maybe you’re not quite sure if that’s the case?

Well you need to take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these qualities.

MUTUAL RESPECT: Does he or she understand how great you are and why? Make sure your Boyfriend or Girlfriend is into you for who you are.

Does your partner listen when you say you’re not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Or does he/she insist on having their way all the time? Respect in a relationship means that each person values the other, understand the spaces and boundaries and ensure they would never challenge or encroach into the other person’s boundaries, without permission.

TRUST: You’re talking with a guy from your street or in your neighborhood and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you’d never cheat on him? What about this latest craze of our generation with spending so much time on our Android and iPhones, chatting or making video calls? How do you as a guy or lady react in these situations? It’s ok to get a little jealous sometimes.

Jealousy is a natural emotion, but how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There’s no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don’t Trust each other and there’s no way you can build Trust in a relationship, if you continue to do those things that will provoke your partner into a fit of jealous anger or rage because you want to show him/her that you are independent and can attract a thousand likes and praise comments on your posts on social media. If you truly love your partner and want a healthy relationship then you must try to build Trust and avoid those things that can generate distrust between you.

HONESTY: This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it’s tough to trust someone when one of you isn’t being honest. Have you ever caught your girlfriend or boyfriend in a major lie? Like she/he told you that she had lectures at noon, but it turns out she was out with her friends in the company of other guys and vice versa?

The next time she/he says they are going for lectures, you’ll have a lot more trouble believing and the trust will be more on shaky ground. Moral: It is better to keep quiet than to lie.

SUPPORT: It’s not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great in a relationship when your whole world is falling apart and they can support you put it back together, but they may not be that interested in hearing the good things in your life. In a healthy relationship your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when things are not going well in your personal life and they will also be there to celebrate with you when you get a major break in life or achieve something you’ve always wanted to achieve.

EQUALITY: Do you take turns choosing which new movies to see whether in a film house or cuddled up in front of your laptop watching a downloaded movie and sharing the earpiece if the volume is low, or how you choose to spend your quality time together, whether staying indoors or having a sit out? As partners, do you hang out with your partner’s friends as often as you hang out with yours because you feel your partner does not have enough swag and is only to be tolerated indoors and not to be seen with you in public? Equality is very important in a relationship and you’ll know if there isn’t a pretty fair balance in the way you regard or respond to your partner. Things can get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time.

GOOD COMMUNICATION: Can you talk about each other and share feelings that are important to you? Don’t keep feelings bottled up because you’re afraid it’s not what your BF or GF wants to hear. And if you need some time to think something through before you are ready to talk about it, the Right person will give you some space to do that.

I hope these little tips will help you build and sustain a healthy and long lasting relationship.

Stay blessed always.

Peace Alex, a Business Administration Management graduate and a Beautician/Cosmetologist, writes from Uyo, Akwa Ibom state.